I’m convinced Donald’s whole ‘presidency’ is scripted. In a life coach, we just love you Donny, kind of way. But absolutely scripted by professional ‘somethings.’ Honestly, if this is your job? I don’t even know how you can look at your own reflection without feeling disgust. This script is how you handle your super offensive, drunken, racist uncle. Look, uncle fuck nuts isn’t crazy or stupid. He is just an asshole surrounded by a bunch of other assholes.
I imagine Trump talking in a gold plated Oval Office with Paul ‘the hair’ Ryan. It’s late Friday and they be drankin’!
Pauly smirks, “and get this Donny, He’s the dentist that killed Cecil.”
Donny hears this, stops and turns around. “He knows about wildlife then! Why wouldn’t I put him in The Wildlife Conservation Council?”
“The snowflakes are melting down this weekend!” Pauly says. They both laugh with glee.
“We are all going to melt!” Ryan says as he tears up and rubs one eye.
Donny gets serious suddenly. He gives Pauly the squinty-eye, dirty look. Ryan stops laughing. They Look at each other. They both pause for a second, both their faces drop and they both resemble Satan for just a moment. The old school red devil Satan from your childhood.
Donny says, “hey, fuck the climate.” They howl with laughter.