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Getting Back to Games

So I created a separate site for my personal and rant-y stuff. Stay here for games guys. Games, writing, creative stuff. Just getting focused. If you like rants. They are here for sure, and I will continue to bless you with game, writing and creativity rants. Don’t you worry.

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Speaking of Fear

Seems to be my new topic lately. I’m letting go of mine. Let go of yours. I’ve often feared that my boss was out to get me. That I’ve become a burden to my work, and maybe sometimes that was true. I definitely hit a burn out phase just after 2008 as many of you did. But I’ve finally come to realize that maybe my boss is just trying to get me to my potential. Which is pretty cool. So don’t hate your boss. Love yourself and do good work. You will be fine.

Not that you give a fuck. But I’m getting back to writing in June. I’ve been out of commission for a good year and that is not working.

Also go read this it’s great.

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Short Story vs. Novel

350-360 hours, 41,000 words. Well ain’t that some shit. I’ve lost the ability to write a short story. After putting down 40k words in a row, in something that may resemble a novel. (I know that is not even that long. Shut up.) I’m finding it tough to go back and do a short.

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Deadly Silence

And here I was so worried about negative feedback. It’s no feedback that will kill you; make you think the worst. Being ignored is worse than being shit one (figuratively.) I guess I need to find some promotional things to do. But if you have a day job is it worth it? I think I’ll just keep writing. Try to hone the craft. I wrote a novel, finished the fucker, which is more than most people can say. Still would be nice to get a couple readers.

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New Novel Up on Smashwords


That took way too long. But There you go. I call it From Light to Life. I thank the very awesome Melvyn Windam @melorama2000 for offering a few tips.

I’ll get the bugger up on kindle soon. Go find it on Smashwords for now.

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40k We Will Call That a Novel

The opinion changes from person to person. Some say 40k is a novel some say novella. Whatever. I’m there and the story is told. I can’t believe it took so damn long. Or how shitty my grammar really is. So I’m running it through my online critique site, then I’ll submit it to at least 5 places, but then it’s self published and on to the next one. I can’t dick around forever. I’ve seen how ‘professional’ writers work and they just pump shit out. It’s pretty amazing. I was keeping an hour by hour tracking. I wish I were that good. We can just take on another 100 hours or so and call it a day. That’s 250 hours total for a first and second draft. And hopefully the third draft won’t be another 100 hours, but I think it will be. So at the end 350 hours. So all and all 9 weeks if I did this full time. Interesting.

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Proof that Writing is Work

I thought for sure that I would write on Vacation. Not a word. Not one word. I had some inkling, some itching, but nothing. Whatever, back to it. I really want to be done with this little Sci-Fi romp and do something else. Apparently, for me, 35000 is the stalling point. I’ve run out of descriptive shit that I want to add, so I’ll have to add a couple more scenes.

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Word Explosion

100-150 – I’m at 30000 for this novel.  I think what I’ll do is this.  Tomorrow, I’ll read you the short story that inspired this craptacular novel (so you might see it here in a couple weeks) and then jump back into writing the damn thing.  I’m shooting for like 60,000 words so half way there I guess.  I would settle for 50 though.  We will see where it falls out.  I assume this will be a self published novel.  I’ll try to publish it traditional like though, so I can read you the rejections.  We will see.  I’m on a time table now, other projects pushing at me.  I want this bugger out the door.  Going back through it now with my ‘add description, time, place, weather, fix plot holes’ hat on and see where that leaves me.

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More Why Writing

Another thing occurred to me this week.  As I realized that I pay outrageous local taxes and fees, I realized that I don’t really have to live here.  I mean if I didn’t have to go to an office.  Look, I really only like maybe 80% of the people I have to talk to day in and day out.  With the Internet and the fact that I can and do write anywhere, I could push that 20% to email only.  Writing is a great thing for location independence.  If you are good that is, not like me and you were, you know, getting paid for words.  You could travel the world, and just turn out words from anywhere.  Sure sure, you  would have to be here or there for a meeting or family or what not, but what a concept.  I’m sure most of you have figured this one out already.  I guess I just did too.  Hooray.

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Why Writing?

Look, I’m an educated guy.  I’ve got a Computer Science degree, an MBA, a fucking Physics minor!  Why do I pound out little words in this little blog?  I guess I see why my wife would pose such a simple question.  Well, when she did ask last week, I should have had an answer, bam! on the spot.  But i never have and answer, bam! on the fucking spot.  I’m a thinker, a mumbler, a stumbler, a whisperer and a stutterer.  Clumsy and seemingly stupid when talking and performing. But, I feel I’m quite eloquent when I have a minute and I can write out my answer.

My answer simply, is that I can reach that flow state, that engaged, involved state of mind where I’m relaxed and alive; that feeling you get in the middle of a great movie, where you think you know what will happen, but you’re not quite sure and if someone talks to you right now you will smack them in their stupid face.  I can get there faster and more often with writing than anywhere else.  Sure I get there once in a while at work still, although less and less often.  I get there in music and reading often, nearly as often as writing.  But those are passive, no one is going to fucking pay me to watch Sci-fi dramas all day.  For that matter, very few will pay me to write.  I’m no idealist, well not anymore.  But at least I can reach that wonderful meditative passionate state and still have something made at the the other end of it.

Also when you write, you can do anything.  If you can describe it and communicate it.  You build it in  the readers mind.  And if you are good, they see what you see and it’s not just wonderful, it’s expansive, it’s anything, everything.  You find peace writing and you provide peace for someone reading.  what could be more wonderful, what better product of service could you provide than a fucking flow state? Even if it’s just for a moment.

Seems to me that if I can do all that, then why would I do anything else?