Fucking virus writing pieces of shit took down my site. Fuck you hackers, crackers and dirty fucking slackers. Man! I had to go file by file and pull out the dirty virus code. Worse than cleaning up dog shit.
But I’m back and feeling good (what you can’t tell by all the swearing that I’m feeling good? Well fuck you :))
Let’s see where are we? Oh yeah. Nowhere. That is OK though. Cuz I got a real gaming group for the first time and we are doing D&D’s the Hoard of the Dragon Queen and it’s super fun and what an amazing game D&D is and it took me several years to weasel my way into this group and I’m so grateful to be a part of it (run on intentional read faster!) I see why guys get crazy about roleplaying. Finally a group of my very own. I was going to buy and paing mini’s for everyone for the holidaze but the wife said they would tease me if I did. I guess I won’t, but maybe I will anyway, Or at least something for the GM.
So if I give up my writing time for this. It’s fine. It’s group writing anyway. Fun as fucking.
I think I said I was going to stop swearing on here. I am. I want my kids to read this someday.
Out for now. Thanks for reading and thank you universe for D&D, all other games and game designers, family, THC, alcohol, great stories and thier tellers and fuck you virus writing scum fucking assholes.
I needed to just blow some energy out. So I wrote this poem. I find poetry is a nice way to complain like the litte baby that I am, but I’m complaining while holding flowers and smiling and oh look I have some money for you. So it’s not just complaining. I tried hard to keep a different person in mind here (not myself for once.) This is a poem to any young person who would stumble across my blog, and the message is this.
Go do art! Go do something! Take risks and say “Fuck you” to some old dopey people. You don’t have long to play the game that way. But if you play that way, play it all the way, but know it’s just a game where you choose the win condition. And when you decide you’ve won, choose a new win condition.
Anyway here is my poem.
A plea from me to you
Do what you want to do
A plea from me to me
Be what you want to be
Don’t stop and don’t stray
I’m screaming “just stay”
A plea from me to you
I’m weeping “just stay”
Please, I know it’s frightening
both hands around the lightning
A plea from me to you
Do what you want to do
I thought I had it worked out. Not so much. Who does? I know that I’m headed in the right direction. Watch what I do now. I’m done with complaining and ranting. I want to enlighten, maybe even help some people if I can. I always thought I wanted to write to get away from people, turns out the opposite is true, I want to write to get closer to people, to you. Please come and check out my blog, I will be on about people, creativity, writing, gaming and maybe some morality/life lesson-y type stuff.
Because enough people know. Because privacy here is no more. Because you can’t just be new here. You need a well designed space. An idea or a plan for the person who shows up on your site. What did you think? You could just put up a site and people would come and you would become rich. There are a million other people that did that too. How will anyone find you among a million others just like you? Because I don’t trust the internet over anything else anymore. There is nothing here but a fucking sell. You need to go back to the original quest for knowledge, other people. I don’t want what some curator found for me.
So I was looking for inspiration on the internet. Which I do now and again, but there used to be this wild west vibe here. Not so much anymore. Now whatever I find, is just some packaged bullshit. I won’t put the guy’s site here, not that anyone reads this, but if they did, I wouldn’t want to insult the guy. He’s got I right to make money, I guess. But not on MY internet! I was here first. Am I jealous and childish? Yes, I suppose. I want the romance internet, the one they will talk about in a hundred years. Where you go on and if you thought of it first, and fought hard and gained acceptance; your shit would ‘go viral’ or reach market dominance. There is no art here to me anymore.
Maybe I’m just old and tired and lacking confidence today. In the end. Persist. Carry on because there is nothing left to do but carry on.
Had a great experience at Origins 2014. Picked up a book of monster stories from authors who were all there and all friendly and all willing to sign my book. I’m very much looking forward to posting about these stories. A big thank you to the great people at www.obatron.com for letting help at their booth. I simply would not go to conventions if I didn’t have something to do there besides gaming. Oh hear comes the rant…
I can’t sit for twenty hours and play games. I’m good for four or so… And trust me, if you are sitting that long, knock it off, your killing yourself! You fucking know it’s true, but I won’t lecture any longer.
Also a great job goes out to the winners of the Origins awards. See here for winners:
That took way too long. But There you go. I call it From Light to Life. I thank the very awesome Melvyn Windam @melorama2000 for offering a few tips.
I’ll get the bugger up on kindle soon. Go find it on Smashwords for now. https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/403932
So I passed by the interview for the new programmer. They sit him in a conference room and three guys interrogate him (or I guess it could be a her but usually not.) While a manager stares at the guy the whole time. Judging. Christ what a nightmare. This is why I can’t code anymore. Not in a bigger company anyway. Then the kid leave and they talk about him for a half an hour in the damn hallway. (headphone on!)
Who the fuck wants to write code by committee. Fucking shoot me. This teamwork shit that we are all supposed to be rah rah for sucks anus. Team work should be limited for coders. IMHO
This is why everyone wants to be a manager. So they can act alone once in a while.
So frustrating, some dumb dick writes a book, says team work is best and we are all stuck for the next 20 years doing agile and paired coding (never!) and code reviews.
bah I say! bay to you!!
Comic Con is great, but I can drive to Gen Con. Fuck yeah. I’ll be there. And if you have a Savage Worlds game you want me to play. Let’s do it. Also check out this game and these guys: both rock http://www.brokenrooms.com/ These guys are Ennie Nominated and should get it.
I’m kinda pumped to see an X-Files movie, if that was real. I’m really pumped that Saga did well, I like that comic. I’m pumped that Sandman will be back and will start re-reading that little slice of awesome. I really would like to fly out and go to Comic Con one year. As much as I love Gen Con, I’m falling out of the game and into the story. I mean I was always a setting nerd, I used to read the Magic: The Gathering novels, so…you know. But I used to want to be active so bad that I had to game so I could do something in the world that I enjoyed. But holy shit if you write, you do everything in the world that you enjoy not only do but make, and control and own. And look, if you don’t enjoy it what the fuck are you writing for? Go read Sandman or watch the Avengers movie.
I thought for sure that I would write on Vacation. Not a word. Not one word. I had some inkling, some itching, but nothing. Whatever, back to it. I really want to be done with this little Sci-Fi romp and do something else. Apparently, for me, 35000 is the stalling point. I’ve run out of descriptive shit that I want to add, so I’ll have to add a couple more scenes.
So I’ve figured how long it can take to finish a longer piece of writing. Over the course of months any number of things can pull you away from what you want to accomplish. Spouse, kids, job, school, golf. A cold can knock you out for a week, but the key is to always come back to write. Always come back. Persist. Face the void. Be brave and open and passionate.