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Sad and Lonely Gamer – When to Leave a Gaming Group

What is a gamer with no games to play? What is a player with no friends who stay? Tuesday’s are always tough for me. Monday comes and goes and the week’s workload is sinking in, yours and all the people around you too and if you are worth your salt, they are asking you to help them or work with them. Plus I jacked my neck up so I’m dealing with some pain. Probably, from hanging my head over my damn phone all day. So yeah, I’m sad today. I’m watching my poor dog who needs a walk but probably won’t get one today and I’m thinking of how spry a puppy she was. And I’m thinking of my kids who are flying through grade and high school and will be gone someday. Finally my old game group, who were good people, it just wasn’t working for me.

So when to leave a group? I left mine, because I was super busy with my day job. And while we were only meeting twice a month, we started drinking and playing a little later and I was a wreck the next day very often. So yeah if your game becomes more drinking than gaming and you have work to do? Leave.

What is often true is that your group is your long time friends, so leaving is awful and lonely and sucky. But you can still be part of gaming. There are only a million online games. Right? I buy board games and read the rules. Check boardgamegeek or other gaming websites and podcasts. You can stay involved till you find another group. Plus you can hit FNM at one of the comic or boardgame shops to meet people and summer is here. Go to Origins or Gen Con. Go to Comic Con. Your people are out there, just go find them.

Also, a reason I left my group, was because our ‘leader’ was a former boss, and friends at work, well, when the work ends, it’s sometimes tough to make that transition to friendship. Especially because the work situation went sour for you or for your work friend.

There is another thing that happens often in game groups, especially when there are a lot of dudes. A hierarchy just naturally develops and one guy gets the brunt of the joke made in his direction. Sometime it’s fine, but look if you are at the bottom of the social order of your group and you don’t want to be. Leave dummy. It’s not that good for you, go find people more like you or that treat you better.

Here is one great thing I did when I couldn’t find a game. Volunteer at a booth at Gen Con. Or Origins. Or DragonCon. I can’t even tell you how awesome volunteering was, you get to help this people with their dreams and you meet people to game with. It’s amazing.

If I’ve never typed it, thanks for reading. I’m certain most of my web hits are chinese bots. But should a human come across my site. Thanks for checking it out.

J

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Pay Attention

Such a simple thing to do right? Wrong. Paying attention is difficult, very difficult. You are not thinking, you are just watching and listening. But keep working too; you can’t just watch, you are a participant. What a crazy world we live in and what crazy lives we lead. Hang tough friends. We will get to the end whether we want to or not. What will they say about you at the end? Good things? Or he/she was a miserable bastard? What I dislike the most, I guess, is the idea that I must climb this ladder. This eternal fight to beat the other monkeys to the top. It’s tiring! But continue on and never surrender. Will you hit the top, probably not, but never let them think you knew that all along, keep pushing like you will be the next boss or the next family leader etc., and they won’t say that you gave up. Wouldn’t that be the worst thing you could do? Give up? And should you end up at the top, then you can think clearly right? Wield that power with honesty, grace, bravery and with as much morality as you can muster. So in a word. Persist.