Category Archives: 10KHours

Poverty

Thinking often lately about poverty. Real poverty, destitute living, hand-to-mouth, paycheck-to-paycheck poverty. I did not go out and interview a bunch of poor people. No, I lived this nightmare. From fourteen to somewhere in my late thirties, I considered myself as one of this nation’s poor people. This nation being the United States. I don’t really want to talk too much about this country, the only point that I would like you to take away from this is that most people lie about themselves to themselves about money, and about others to themselves too. I believe that money and wealth is one of the areas that is broken in the United States and that most people will not and/or cannot face the truth about money. How much they have, how much the owe, or how much they really need etc. We are delusional in other ways too, but this one I know well. Because really, I probably left the lower class by thirty, what did I just say, late thirties? See that, truth, we need some, and I can find it, and thanks to my somewhat unique past, I know where to look. That these are the things I want to find out about in my post labelled with the tag ‘Poverty’, when it comes to poverty, I think we will find it still affects us all.

Two main things occurred to me as a poor person. First, you can’t relate to the wealthy, I remember my “friends” laughing because our toilet had been broken for a few months, I was a kid and didn’t know how to fix it. My dad was absent, and my mom was about to crack up. These kids ripped on the way we lived, the disrepair, the dirt. When I got older and was still ‘behind’ or thought I was it was, “don’t you have someone to mow your lawn?” or “You clean your own house?” These are grown up versions of the same taunting, or so I thought. I don’t understand how you are living and I think my life is better is what I heard. Of course, intent is not always known in these “discussions” and you can’t go around blaming people for asking what may be harmless questions. I know now that much of the problem was in my head, but I didn’t at the time and most poor people don’t either in my opinion.

Poor people are, for the most part embarrassed to be poor, I think. Yes, this is my opinion, but I think you can believe this, even when people tell you they don’t care about wealth, in much harsher words than I’m using here, they do. For some that are not poor, they are not because it is terrifying to them, and they would do almost anything to keep away from poverty. Not a horrible thing, but while this reality drives some people to great things it drives others to evil and still others mad.

So yeah, I’m going to research some on this and post it here. I want very much to write about light things. Be clever and have cool fictional characters, but right now I’m more interested in truth, even when no one around me is and I think, as I investigate I will find that the reason people are poor is that they are telling lies. lies to themselves and to those around them about themselves. Lies to others and themselves about everyone else. I’ve been lying to myself for over 10 years. I’m going to stop, and I hope you will stop with me. We are going to quit lying like we quit smoking and quit eating junk food. We are going to see reality better and clearer and maybe even find some solutions to some of these issues.

So yeah, poverty. Let’s see what it’s about, what are its causes, its effects on people and communities, why people won’t face or even talk about poverty, and I’ll tell you my story, how I got from poverty to upper middle class. Maybe my crazy story will help you understand this tough issue, I know it will help me just to think about it and write it down. I’ll provide hard numbers too, maybe my own, maybe from others. I’ll be as honest as I can an even try to keep it light here and there. Here is an old one, but a funny one if you never heard it. I’m so poor I can’t afford to pay attention.

Here I Go Again

350-360/42,000 I’ve started a new story. Looking forward to writing again, it’s been too long. This blog has become a constant for me. One thing I can just do and not worry too much about. I place to come back to and see how whiny I was back when, how productive, how whatever.

I’ve been through three jobs this year. Fought with many people that I love. Found help where I could and when I needed it most. But I’ll never stop being creative. It’s what I am and what I do. I will never surrender. Surrender is death. Forgive your past. Forget the future. Live now and write.

J

Speaking of Fear

Seems to be my new topic lately. I’m letting go of mine. Let go of yours. I’ve often feared that my boss was out to get me. That I’ve become a burden to my work, and maybe sometimes that was true. I definitely hit a burn out phase just after 2008 as many of you did. But I’ve finally come to realize that maybe my boss is just trying to get me to my potential. Which is pretty cool. So don’t hate your boss. Love yourself and do good work. You will be fine.

Not that you give a fuck. But I’m getting back to writing in June. I’ve been out of commission for a good year and that is not working.

Also go read this it’s great. http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Mount-Guyot-Buddha-Palguta-ebook/dp/B00DX5NWWW/ref=dp_kinw_strp_1

Tough

Tough to you if you can’t find the time. I know how it is, got to keep up with that young kid. Worry about these bastard, cold-blooded managers removing you for some younger, faster worker. And oh while you are keeping up, your energy level is dropping, reflexes are slowing, eyes getting worse. Such is life, suck it up. No wonder so many older guys bust their asses so hard. There is no rest for you my friend, no rest till the day you die.

But if you do take a moment, maybe a vacation to read a book, think freely and let possibilities flow though you. What if you could do something different, be someone better. Don’t worry I’m not trying to sell you anything, not right now anyway, go check out my eBooks later. I’m just trying to get you to think a little. Think about the last time you just let go and followed a bird as it just hopped about and pecked at the ground. The last time you just stared at the water and watched the waves go up and down. Try and take those nice thoughts back to your life with you. Hold on to them. Maybe let them influence a decision or two. Then maybe, just maybe we will have a kinder, calmer world.

I’ve learned to meditate and to loosen up a little. It’s been good for me. I’m still wound pretty tight but I’ve grown, and it was needed. If I’m ever going to write anything decent, I’ll need to know that peaceful feeling and I’ll need to know how to generate it in others as they read the words, that, let’s face it, I did NOT write in that state. I haven’t written much, but I’ve written enough to know that it’s work. And to do it well, it’s damn hard work and it take a lot of time, focus and dedication. Prolonged effort over time my friends. Lots of time.
So I say tough, tough to you buddy. You can’t find the time? If you can’t find the time then you are not a writer. Because a writer writes, always.

Short Story vs. Novel

350-360 hours, 41,000 words. Well ain’t that some shit. I’ve lost the ability to write a short story. After putting down 40k words in a row, in something that may resemble a novel. (I know that is not even that long. Shut up.) I’m finding it tough to go back and do a short.

More Words More Money

Not really. I gets no monies fo dis shit. Monies, I need monies. Not really, I do fine in my day job. Just saying it would be nice.

250-350 – and at about 40,400 words I’ve stopped and posted a new novel. I’m okay with how it turned out. I did the formatting and cover which came out really nice. Contact me if you need some shit formatted for an ebook. I’m fucking good I tell you. I’ll trade formatting skill for editing skills. (I stole the image and doctored it. Is it yours? omg I’m sorry! Email me ok. We can work it out.)
Check it out here http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/403932

Put in this code NK46S and get it for free…review it if you like it. If you don’t like it your silence is appreciated. (read: fuck off negative Nancy)

Back to work writing another one.

40k We Will Call That a Novel

The opinion changes from person to person. Some say 40k is a novel some say novella. Whatever. I’m there and the story is told. I can’t believe it took so damn long. Or how shitty my grammar really is. So I’m running it through my online critique site, then I’ll submit it to at least 5 places, but then it’s self published and on to the next one. I can’t dick around forever. I’ve seen how ‘professional’ writers work and they just pump shit out. It’s pretty amazing. I was keeping an hour by hour tracking. I wish I were that good. We can just take on another 100 hours or so and call it a day. That’s 250 hours total for a first and second draft. And hopefully the third draft won’t be another 100 hours, but I think it will be. So at the end 350 hours. So all and all 9 weeks if I did this full time. Interesting.

Word Explosion

100-150 – I’m at 30000 for this novel.  I think what I’ll do is this.  Tomorrow, I’ll read you the short story that inspired this craptacular novel (so you might see it here in a couple weeks) and then jump back into writing the damn thing.  I’m shooting for like 60,000 words so half way there I guess.  I would settle for 50 though.  We will see where it falls out.  I assume this will be a self published novel.  I’ll try to publish it traditional like though, so I can read you the rejections.  We will see.  I’m on a time table now, other projects pushing at me.  I want this bugger out the door.  Going back through it now with my ‘add description, time, place, weather, fix plot holes’ hat on and see where that leaves me.

Whatever. Persist.

First off, man I hate spammers.  I’m going to rant a second so skip ahead if you can’t handle it. Dear spammers, fuck off you dirty, shitty, awful fucking people.  Go do something, any god damn thing.  This stuff I’m doing here is junk. I know this, but it’s still better than anything you are doing.

Second I recorded my first podcast that I will try to get up here before January ends.  I’ll try to do like six this year.  While my voice is super sexy, I’m a shitty reader, reading you shitty writing (what an endorsement) but in the end I have to do more corrections than I had hoped.  So hopefully both writing and reading will get better.

Third, I did get in some writing.  90-100 and I’m almost 15000 words and almost a third into this novel.  I guess I’m just slow.  That is not a whole lot of work is it?  that is like two weeks work spread over a year.  Whatever. Persist.

 

Basement Project Completed

80-90  2500 words on novel. It is at like 11000 words.  I was in the how do I do more phase but I think I got it worked out.  I essentially had all plot with no characterization or scene descriptions.

I was OOC (Out Of Commission) for a while too.  Finished the basement.  I will never do another home project myself.  I’m OK with tools, I just don’t enjoy it much and would rather write.  So there you go.  Back in the game bitches.